Review: The Fly (1986)

“Be afraid. Be very afraid” That was the tagline for David Cronenberg’s The Fly. A better tagline might’ve been: “Be disgusted. Be very disgusted.” All joking aside, David Cronenberg’s 1986 reworking of the camp classic The Fly is a masterpiece of horror, a tragic romance with some of the best practical effects work in cinematic…

Review: Rob Zombie’s Halloween I & II

Who better to reimagine John Carpenter’s masterwork of controlled, measured tension and suspense than the brash, crash, metalhead turned horror filmmaker Rob Zombie? Anyone. Pretty much anyone would have been better. But Zombie was riding high off the success of The Devil’s Rejects, so I can see why he was chosen. Does that make him…

Review: Angel Heart (1987)

Hardboiled, neo-noir detective story meets atmospheric supernatural horror. Angel Heart is a phenomenal film about to leave Netflix. Stream it now, or forever hold your peace. Or something. The year is 1955. Mickey Rourke is Harry Angel, a washed-up, grimy private eye, in the vein of the characters Bob Hoskins was parodying in Who Framed…

Review: Halloween H20-Resurrection

Michael Myers just won’t stop coming! This time, he’s coming back for Laurie! Again. Thought she was dead. Huh. Today, we’ll be discussing the end of the franchise proper. (Don’t worry, I’ll get to the godawful Rob Zombie films next week.) Halloween: H20 and Halloween: Resurrection. One pretty good, one not so much. Let’s get…

Review: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

Roger Ebert described Jeepers Creepers 2 as a film “with a first-class creature, a fourth-rate story, and dialogue possibly created by feeding the screenplay into a pasta maker.” I haven’t seen Jeepers Creepers 2, but this certainly applies to the first film. Is it fun? Sure. Is it good? No. So it goes that Justin…

Review: Halloween: The Thorn Trilogy

Michael Myers was dead. Audiences reacted poorly to the franchise going in a new direction. And while Halloween III was far from a flop commercially, it was detested by pretty much everybody. Moustapha Akkad was not going to try this anthology thing again. Just 4 short years later, in 1986, John Carpenter was approached to…

Review: Fright Night (1985)

I promised a review of some 80’s nonsense, didn’t I? And this film’s a bit of nonsense, isn’t it? So Fright Night. 1980’s vampire film. Fun performances, fun setpieces. Is it good? I dunno about that. The basic premise is that Charley Brewster’s new neighbor is a vampire. Having nobody to turn to, he goes…

Review: Halloween II-III

After the underground to mainstream success of Halloween, there was no doubt there’d be a sequel. The only surprise was that it took so long. 3 years for one film? Come on, you guys, Sean Cunningham could get 3 Jason movies made in that time! In fact, by the time Halloween II rolled around, Jason…

Review: The Amityville Horror (1979)

It’s October! And that means horror! Tales to astonish and amaze! We begin with a Horror. An Amityville Horror. THE Amityville Horror, to be specific. A tale that will shock, and terrify! The more sensitive among you may wish to switch off your computers. Worry not, there is no shame in cowardice. Exits are located at…

Things I’ve Watched in My Absence…

I seriously apologize for the last 2 months. I’ve been seriously busy, and this blog was the first commitment I’ve let slip. Sorry… So I thought I’d put out a post detailing some of the stuff I’ve watched in my absence without writing about. Daredevil is one of the best superhero adaptations in any media,…

Review: King Kong (1933)

King Kong. One of the most famous characters in all of fiction,up there with Godzilla, Superman, and Santa Claus. Famous to a degree not seen often, with an instant recognizability—everyone knows King Kong means big monkey. Or ape, rather. Same difference. The great ape first appeared in the 1933 adventure film King Kong, which we’ll be…

Review: Air Force One (1997)

Yesterday was the 4th of July, Independence Day for us Americans. I had planned on writing on the 1993 Roland Emmerich film Independence Day, only to find that, for some reason, national networks elected not to broadcast it this year, and I don’t care enough to own ID4 on home video, and I don’t want…